The key to unlocking self-LOVE!

I am just going to say it, I have suffered from low self-esteem from as far back as I can remember. I couldn’t tell you when it began, or why I just decided that I didn’t feel “good” enough. I can tell you that I think I’ve always been this way and despite others telling me otherwise it just didn’t matter. My loved ones have to say those nice things, they are required to love me, this is what my mind would tell me.

Too often I would sit and wish that I were different,wanting to be skinnier, wishing to look a certain way. Spending too many nights begging to wake up as someone else. Have you ever sat and looked at the stars wishing to catch a falling one and make a wish?  That would be me! Feeling disgusted at looking at myself in the mirror so I avoid them whenever I can. Literally, I walk past the bathroom mirror and put my head down just, so I do not have to catch a glimpse of the parts of me that make me that upset and disgusted.

Part of the reason I am writing this post is to get things off my mind but to also encourage others! You are not human if you do not make mistakes. You aren’t expanding your brain if you do not learn from those mistakes! You should be trying to improve yourself always. The goal is to be happier than you were the day before. Who here wants to wake up and see birds chirping on their window sill and sing along with them? HA-HA! Me!

I wish life was all candy and cupcakes, but the reality is the opposite. Life is hard, everyone has been through or is going through something that has knocked them down on their ass and made them feel like they could not or can’t get up again. If I had a dollar for every time, I have felt lost in life, I would be rolling in dough! Making it rain everywhere!

Even now, I still catch myself feeling lost, hopeless and like I won’t ever find myself. I don’t know about you, but when this happens, and I forget just how great I am I need a refresher. When you spend so much time loving everyone around you and taking care of them you forget about yourself! So how do we love ourselves?


Getting in touch with yourself could mean many different things.I have read about meditation and although I haven’t done this myself. There seems to be a few benefits to this method: The definition of meditation is- A habitual process of training your mind to focus and redirect your thoughts. One of the top benefits is reducing stress. DING, DING! I am all for that. Couldn’t we all use a way to reduce the stresses we have! When stress dissipates,anxiety decreases. Pay attention to yourself, self-care! Take time for you.

I will never get tired of expressing to others the importance of taking time for just you. Seriously, I have the hardest time making sure this happens! Kids, work, and life will get in the way ALWAYS but make you a priority. You will start to notice little changes within yourself. The outcome is beautiful!


A lot of the times, you may realize that you are dealing with past things you have not completely healed from. I know that no one wants to sit and hash out stuff you would rather forget, but there is healing that can come from it. Therapy is a great way! Discussing things with a therapist is a good first move in the right direction.

If that is not your thing, and trust me I understand, take up writing and expressing yourself to yourself! I do this with my blogging. I will never get tired of saying that writing is healing. Release yourself. Or if you have read my previous post “UNZIP yourself!” There is a sense of relief once you can just let go.


I know! Isn’t this post about how you don’t accept yourself and want to learn how? YES! It is, but the fact remains that you will never get there if you do not accept where you are right now. What you do today and have done yesterday or what you will do tomorrow matters in different ways.

If you catch yourself sulking about the past, remind yourself that you are not that person or tell yourself that you will not be that person any longer. Today, you may not be happy, but I can guarantee that there is something you can grab onto that you are grateful for. As for tomorrow, you do not know for sure what is in store for you but jump into it! If your brain starts to falter and wants you to think back to yesterday, give it every reason to look forward to tomorrow!


One of the most important things I do is constantly tell my daughters and my son how great they are. I remind them that they are beautiful inside and out. I make sure they leave this house and go to school feeling loved and special. They are! And why shouldn’t they have the most confidence in themselves? I feel that by doing this maybe I can prevent them ever hating themselves. I want to make sure that they never doubt their dreams. I want them to reach for every star, I want them to LOVE themselves completely, so they know what they are worth. What I want them to know is that they are good enough to conquer any and every crash that may come their way.

When life hits them and they begin to feel lost, I want to make sure that feeling of wondering doesn’t last long. Do I know for sure that this will prevent it? No, but I for damn sure will try my hardest to make it so they always have themselves to count on, and me to cradle them when they feel like they can’t go on. That is our job as a parent, to nurture and teach our children that they are valuable. If we do not do it, no one else will.

Let me tell you the world is a scary place and will munch down and devour them! So, we cannot let that happen! Tell your babies how precious they are, I know it can be tough especially when they are wreaking havoc at home but in the long run it will benefit their self-confidence and self-love!

You are worthy of love, from yourself and from those around you. If there is someone in your life that brings you to a bad place, you don’t need them! Surround yourself with love! Love for yourself, and love from others. There is no one in this world like you! You are important, you are special, you are beautiful/handsome/gorgeous!Now it is time for you to realize this. RuPaul says it best, “if you don’t love yourself how in the hell you gonna love somebody else!”

4 thoughts on “The key to unlocking self-LOVE!”

  1. This post spoke to me. I was never happy with myself most of my life. As far as appearance, I was fine with everything above my waist. I always tried to mask everything below. And forget swimming!

    Then, I went through a long period of being depressed and not knowing it. Thought it was normal to feel that way But then I crashed and looked for help. Now, mentally I’m happier and my appearances from the waist down don’t bother me as much. However, I know it’s something I want to improve.

    Christine xx

    1. Oh thank you for taking the time to comment. I am happy to read that you looked for help! honestly when it gets so bad you cannot dig out, help might be the only solution. Most of the time I fight with myself over the things discussed in this post. It can and will get better though! Thanks again!!

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